I took a sick day yesterday, and thus, was out of the office. When I returned I had several emails from J, 2 of which are related and posted here.
Yesterday at 3:58 pm J writes:
Food is just not living up to its responsibilities. I just ate a bag of Herr’s jalapeno poppers flavored cheese curls. They were stale. So I called the customer service line to complain. No one was available to take my call. What kind of crap is that? I ask you. I don’t have an answer; I’m just asking the question.
He also wrote this, at 4:10 pm:
Picked up when I called again. Don’t ask me how many times I called; it’s none of your business. They are very sorry for my inconvenience and they would like to send me a coupon for a replacement bag. They took my name and address and asked for the expiration date. They said they would send a coupon out in seven to ten business days, so I’m sort of excited that I have that to look forward to.
Here’s the kick in the ass, they asked me what size bag it was. Are they going to send a coupon for that exact bag?
This is the second time in my life I’ve called a customer service line about being dissatisfied with a snack product. The first time was Frito Lay. My Doritos had what I thought to be insufficient flavor and since 99 cents was a lot of money to me at the time (I was in college) I called them and let them know about it. They took down a lot of information and I mean a lot of information; they may have asked what I was doing when I ate the bag I don’t really remember.
When the coupon arrived though it was for ANY FRITO LAY PRODUCT. Man, I was in flavor country. My roommate and I drove right out to the grocery store and selected the largest bag of whatever we could find. We ate the whole thing when we got back to the dorm while watching really bad television.
I’m hoping HERRS will be as generous.
There’s something magical about eating a ton of junk food while watching really bad television in college that somehow loses its appeal once you hit “The Real World” (not the bad television, the soul sucking abyss of personal responsibility and bill-paying).
J writes back a minute later:
The year after college is always the hardest socially. All the things that were fun and cool in college suddenly seem really dumb. You don’t bull until 4:00 a.m. because you have to get up for work in the morning. You don’t eat a lot of junk food because suddenly you’re not on a meal plan anymore and you have to budget for groceries.
It’s true. So readers, what was YOUR favorite bad food/TV combo in college?
Mine was chicken wing/mashed potato night and watching South Park (which isn’t actually bad television, but I sat on my floor while I ate it).