John Madden’s Doritos

J writes via email yesterday at 1:37 p.m.:

Doritos just can’t seem to leave well enough alone. After the travesty that was the flavor combination craze, they have decided to put John Madden’s name on a new line of product retools. I don’t know much about John Madden. I seem to recall he has something to do with football, but I wouldn’t know him if he kicked me in the mouth, and I fail to see how football prowess, assuming that’s what he’s famous for and not just one of those people who are famous for being famous, translates into an expertise on corn chips. I mean, why should I care what he thinks about my Doritos?

Anyway, Doritos has introduced two new flavors. Tailgater Bar-B-Q and Stadium Nacho. According to their press release (yes I looked for the press release), these flavors will only be available for a limited time, which I figure means limited to the number that people will buy. I’m not fooled.

I had some of the Nacho ones today with my lunch and it was with some trepidation. Nacho Doritos and I have a long history, going back to my childhood. I was skeptical when they introduced Nacho Cheesier, and I still have not warmed to the Spicy Nacho variety. But I figured, what the heck.

And here’s the thing—THEY ARE REALLY GOOD!!! Doritos has somehow managed to capture the taste that comes when you dip corn chips in that yellow substance that is not quite cheese but is oh so good. It might be vegan for all I know, although I hope not because if being Vegan meant eating stadium nacho cheese for lunch and dinner I might be willing to give it a shot.

They are even the right color.

So congratulations to the Doritos flavorists. They managed to score a touchdown this time.

And Good Night, Mr. Madden, wherever you are.


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