Stop Messing With Doritos!

Via e-mail at 8:03 a.m.
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J writes:

Why can’t the Frito Lay company just leave well enough alone? Yes, I loved it when the classic Nacho Cheese became Nacho Cheesier and the Cool Ranch is a classic, but their product line is littered with failed attempts at greatness and their latest foray is just wrong.

Made a quick trip to Wawa last night for cash and saw that Doritos has now introduced a “second degree burn” line of chips of the buffalo and jalapeño variety. I love buffalo wings and chicken tenders and I pop jalapeno poppers like they are candy, so I was intrigued at what the chips tasted like. I had also recently had a good experience with Herrs jalapeno popper flavored cheese curls.

So I bought a bag of buffalo wing flavored chips and a jalapeno cheese stuffed pretzel (these are a great invention of Wawa) and a raspberry lemonade to wash it all down.

I ate the pretzel without incident and I mention that just to show that I am not a food wuss when it comes to spicy items.

Then I started in on the buffalo chips. It was like my mouth was on fire. I couldn’t even taste the buffalo for the pain it was causing the inside of my mouth. Then I did something I never do; I closed the bag and threw it away. I didn’t even bother to finish it. That’s how awful they were.

I know that there’s a subculture that enjoys eating food so hot it’s painful. I’m usually there. But when I’m eating peppers or other hot things that make your mouth burn I want to be in Mexico or some Mexican themed bar with a group of my friends. I don’t want to be driving home eating a 99 cent bag of chips.

They suck.

To Frito Lay: Knock it off.

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