E-mail exchange from Monday, 3:17 p.m.

Subject line: The Problem with Hot Dogs…
J said:

Aren’t so much in the hot dogs themselves, but in the hot dog buns. I am not yet convinced that a sausage or a kielbasa is quantifiably better than a hot dog, but I do know that since most of us eat them portably, as opposed to with a knife and fork in our laps while we shoo away pigeons and the homeless, who interestingly have never expressed an interest in sharing my lunch even as they ask me for money for food, than the disparity here is relevant.

Specifically, the roll that a sausage or a kielbasa comes on is 100 times better than the hot dog roll.

Perhaps some of the food truck vendors would consider putting hot dogs on a sausage rolls.

That would be a change we can believe in.
I replied:

One of your best yet.

Now my question for you is this: What is your feeling on cheesesteak rolls?

It seems to me, most people that are really into hoagies and cheesesteaks and spend time telling other people their preferences, are always citing “the roll” as the reason why sandwich A is better than sandwich B.

As someone who enjoys good bread but finds the quality of the meat and cheese as the real marker of a delicious sammie, I find their arguments pointless.
J countered:

Hardly pointless, although I could see how it might seem so to someone who has eliminated meat from their lives and therefore would be reduced to eating a “hoagie” that consisted of lettuce, tomato, onions and cheese, which would be truly pointless, or, lord help us all, a cheese steak that consisted of fried cheese and onions which, when I think about it, does have a certain appeal.

But I digress.

The quality of a cheese steak depends on the confluence of cheese, onions and the roll in exactly the right amounts and if anyone of these is lacking, the entire cheese steak suffers. It’s hard exactly to quantify the quality of the roll (some like it warm, some don’t. Some like it hard, some don’t. It’s like pornography that way I suppose—that is we know a roll is lacking when it is).

To those who would dismiss the quality of a roll in a cheese steak evaluation, I would ask them to consider the following. A cheese steak on a hot dog roll, or on toasted sliced bread. Not the same. Indeed, not the same at all.

I shared:


When you put it like that, I agree.

I went on a sort of double-date road bike ride once, and spent the majority of said ride chatting with the other girlfriend. She worked for Wawa which I thought was totally cool. She worked in their call center so she assured me it wasn’t. I asked her if people had been calling and complaining about how the quality of the Wawa hoagie roll was in decline and she said that indeed, that had been one of their biggest complaints.

I then asked her if they logged the complaints and took action on them.  She said no.

My boyfriend at the time said that she was a comment box with no bottom.
J ends the exchange with this:

One of the greatest lines in TV sitcom history:

Matthew won Employee of the Month, but it was hardly a competitive election: “There were two votes for Matthew, 15 for ’employee of the month sucks,’ and 8 just said ‘ba-ba-booey.'”

Somehow the idea of comment boxes made me think of that.


  1. Places like WaWa and Subway shouldn’t be allowed to sell sandwiches. They suck. There’s no further analysis needed. Yes, Wawa has other uses like free ATMs and slim jims, but their sandwiches are an embarrassment. Subway may as well just close up shop. How they stay in business in this part of the country makes about as much sense as a Long John Silvers in New England or a Kentucky Fried Chicken down south. It’s just wrong.
  2. Wawa actually has a lot of opportunity. Managers can make up to $45,000 a year and about $1,500 in bonuses on top of that every month if their store performs well. I actually considered working for WaWa. I still haven’t totally dismissed it.

For the record, I disagree about Wawa hoagies.

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